Escaping
by SkinnyLittleSlut
Summary: "You showed up here bleeding everywhere. Not an inch of you wasn't all slashed up. There was so much blood it stained everything. Everything was red. And you kept waking up, having fits, like seizures, and passing out again. It's been happening for two days straight." The night Sirius ran away could be his last. Rated M for graphic images. Slight wolfstar.
1. Chapter 1

He was lost.

His robes swept behind him in a daze, blood sobbing the pain he could never release as he stumbled along the streets, the unforgiving rain melting holes in his burning conscience.

He was swimming with weights attached to his waist, guilt gnawing at his stomach like a carnal animal, tendons tenderly tousling his tresses as he was engulfed with sadness and shock.

His teeth were sunk into his bottom lip as he wandered, eyes darker than the storm clouds that were over his head as they beat him into numb submission. He was surrounded by a tornado of misery as a cackle of lighting was spat out of the sky, exposing his cruelty for the world to judge. His tears were streamers of agony melting down his face as they washed away with the unforgiving numbness of the water.

* * *

He had no idea where he was.

The rain had punished him into a pulp and he was a puddle of white-hot guilt, screams of his blood echoing in his ears. He'd been plunged into the deep end and even though he was consumed with the pressing weight of the water he was yet to fade into beautiful oblivion.

Soon he'd be little more than another body lost and tossed into the depths of the ground, the cross carelessly painted over his watery grave burning his unholy body. He was to be buried, yet he'd already died, even though the last huff of air was yet to leave his body.

His traitorous lungs just kept on functioning, and his silvery eyes dampened with grief as he rained out a thunderstorm of his own emotions. He watched dashes of scarlet swirl with the rainwater into the gutter, felt the burning on his side.

* * *

He was collapsed on the ground now, blankly gazing at the drenched pavement as he blinked helplessly.

His guilt had shackled him here and maybe it would never release him. He was condemned, for sure, the pelting hammers of droplets simply the beginning of his eternal torture.

His entire body was raw, and yet, outwardly he was completely numb. A shiver went down his spine and his lips began to fill with blue ink, merging with the crimson and bursting into rainbows.

He ached all over, and yet he was fixed in place, his eyes blank as the bitterness stopped escaping from his eyes and once again began to gather behind the dam.

* * *

His robes were gone now; he was simply adorned in a short sleeve tee and thin jeans.

He watched his flesh be bitten by vengeful cold and observed the purple bites it left behind.

He watched lashings of self-abuse dribble from his abused skin, leaving bones exposed.

And he watched pools of hate flow after it, locking each other in a mortal comeback.

* * *

Even the moon had fled from the unforgiving sky, blunt knives of thunder slicing the clouds in half as purple occasionally chased it cruelly, lighting up cracks in the looming grey roof.

The claws of oblivion had began to sink into him, numbing his flesh and clawing his eyes closed, but he forced himself to shift, to remain awake.

He needed to hurt. He needed to prepare for Hell.

* * *

He didn't remember his transformation, and he didn't remember when he started to run.

Self-preservation was overpowering self-loathing for the first time in his young life, a limping, whimpering dog with more curse wounds than untouched flesh begging him to survive.

But even it collapsed halfway to wherever it was heading, so tiredly that it hid inside of him again, and he was there again.

He was lay in the middle of the street now. Gravel was dusting his saturated hair and layering on thickly, glass shards causing blood droplets to form.

* * *

Light had broken through, but it wasn't sunlight, because there never were two suns.

The human lay in the road, already broken, but the desperate dog overcame it and let out a haunting howl as it leapt away from screeching rubber.

A near-miss and he was lay right on the slashes decorating his ribs, spots mocking him as they partially blinded him.

He struggled to all four of his feet.

* * *

Pain had taken over now, working as sick fuel to tire him and quicken the inevitable.

The dog was determined, but the grips of death were slowly strangling it, yet it continued, gasping for breath.

* * *

This place was familiar now, curved roads leading to warm pools of love and affection.

The urge to close his eyes was so simple, and yet resisted so harshly by the dog inside. It was soaked to the bone, partially suffocated and swaying despite it's increased centre of gravity. It's organs were screaming, and it made one desperate last jump, slamming into a familiar door as it morphed into a human in a horrifically bad state.

Just as the curious presence behind the door swung it open, heavy lids closed over empty silver depths.


	2. Chapter 2

A hook of agony yanked him back to life.

His cold body had imprints of warm fingers all over it. Light was burning him, but it was artificial. Claps of thunder were still mocking the sky, but he was hidden away now.

No inch of his body wasn't drenched in his life essence, disgusting stickiness that engulfed him completely and fed the wide-eyed monster inside of him, that held the image of a face filled with horror imprinted in its eyes.

He coughed, spewing out more of it, and he exploded with such agony that it almost stopped his desperate heart.

Everything was shaking, the Earth, the galaxy, the constellations painted in the sobbing sky. He couldn't catch a cruel clutch of breath, which was tickling his lips and dancing away before he could grab it. The dam behind his eyes had cracked again, and water was trickling out, bitter and regretful.

His lids snapped up and he was staring with huge, terrified eyes as someone sobbed over his half-dead body, begging him to wake up.

And then, he slowly faded away, the dull light in his imploding eyes slowly draining away until it was there no more.

* * *

The next instance he was yanked back into reality was from a gentle touch.

The pain inside of him was still thrashing, but something had sedated it slightly.

He focused on his physical body and realised he was heaving, coughing and spitting. it was all warm and a thick consistency.

The intake of air he'd managed to seize had escaped once again.

The more the warmth infiltrated his body, the more tendrils of torturous memory wound its way around his brain; cold hands, splitting, running, bleeding, _dying..._

But two grips rendered him calm enough to remain in the realm of the living, if only for a moment. A trembling, terrified clutch on one wrist. And a gentle, loving touch on the other.

Pinning him down as flashes of red haunted his closed lids, but pumping the will to stay patient around his dying arteries.

He waited for what could have been centuries before the monster subsided, releasing its hold on every muscle in his body.

But the act of relaxing threw him back into the churning chaos of his deadened mind.

* * *

Was breathing the right thing to do?

Clashes of angry demons exploded in his throbbing skull, battling each other to make the decision, and he instantly regretted asking.

Instead he opened the silvery orbs of his eyes, squinting against the harsh light which appeared to instantly disappear at the sight of his discomfort.

A single candle burned above him, casting an ominous glow across his conscience. He realised he was allowing breath to enter his aching chest, and quickly ignored that fact.

* * *

He must have delved back into the abyss of nightmares, because he was screaming when he jerked awake.

Not an inch of his entire body didn't have an agonising ache buried inside of it, but it was so different from the raw pain that had been rampaging through his insides that it felt like Heaven.

He once again opened his eyes, but this time, he could focus on things again. They weren't as blurry as before.

He struggled to escape from the vulnerable position he found himself settled in, and was prevented from moving, much to his horror.

He tensed, expecting screeches and flashes, and yet more excruciation, but instead, two sets of warm hands gently leant him upwards.

Flashes of pain lit his eyes up with more strength than a thousand lightning flashes, but relief quenched the burn to a mere sizzle.

His vision was fuzzy, but he could make out two figures in front of him.

Concentrating made for hazy clarity, and he recognised James Potter and Remus Lupin knelt in front of him, and the realisation that for the first time in four weeks, he was under absolutely no threat, released the chokehold that raw fear had had on his voice.

"What happened?" he murmured hoarsely.

"You showed up here bleeding everywhere. Not an inch of you wasn't all slashed up. There was so much blood it stained everything. Everything was red. And you kept waking up, having fits, like seizures, and passing out again. It's been happening for two days straight. The Healers couldn't keep up with the rate you were losing blood! They had no clue how to stop the bleeding, they said you'd be insane, that you were under the Cruciatus for eight entire minutes. It was your mum, Sirius."

James' voice was borderline hysterical, his eyes beginning to swim with tears. He cleared his throat and turned away, trying to regain some of his composure.

"I've never been more scared in my entire life." came a muffled half-sob, and Sirius watched as James Potter broke in front of him.

Remus patted him on the back, but got shrugged off, so he turned back to Sirius, his eyes huge and uncertain.

"You're never going back there, Sirius. I love you way too much to ever see this happen to you again."

Remus' voice was fading as Sirius' eyes glazed over, the last words slipping from his lips as he descended into unconsciousness being a slurred "I love you too."

He kept eye contact with Remus right up until the darkness grabbed him.

* * *

**A/N: So I was ridiculously overtired when I wrote this, no clue if it's any good or if there are mistakes or if it's garbage but please, any feedback would be greatly appreciated **


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